More tests

Today, the myelogram. This is the test I was feeling a lot of anxiety about. So I woke up early and planned to go to class so I would spend the morning obsessing about all of the ways in which it could go wrong (even going according to plan was scary).

An unexpected snowfall last night changed all that, so I spent the morning answering email, planning for my absence from classes, and chattering. A lot. Nervous energy was bouncing off the walls.

My catastrophizing paid off. Nothing could be as bad as I imagined it. The room was cold, the table hard against my bony frame. But the part I was most concerned about — the actual spinal tap — was very easy. The doctor had done hundreds of these, and other than a minor jolt along a leg nerve, I couldn’t tell when the needle had gone in. The dye was uncomfortable — pressure in my lower back and pelvis, and a vague sense of unease — but he took his time, so the pressure didn’t last long.

The Xrays were more difficult though. Because the trouble spot is in at the base of my neck, being on my stomach while keeping my chin on a rolled up towel was . . . well . . . difficult (<– midwestern understatement here). The pain between my shoulder blades absorbed all my thoughts. Apparently I’ve developed a way of carrying myself that keeps my spine from moving around too much. The Xray, though, required bending it in all directions, and all the while my head had to be up to keep the dye from running into my brain and causing a debilitating headache. The doctor and techs moved fast, though.

The only real problem came when all of that was over. I had to move to a gurney to be taken to get a CT scan. This involved the almost impossible maneuver of rolling from my stomach to my back, all the while keeping my head higher than the rest of my body (dye/brain again). I did okay with keeping my head up, but when the pressure of all that extra fluid hit the kink in the spinal cord, my shoulders felt a kind of pain I’ve never felt before. Pressure, profound achiness, enough pain to leave me shaking. When I got my breath back I asked the tech how long it would last, and he said, “Eventually it goes away. You probably didn’t want to hear ‘eventually.’” No. I didn’t. But “eventually” in this case meant a few minutes.

While waiting on the gurney in the hallway I kicked into some relaxation exercises and slipped into a light doze. It’s been twenty years since learning how to do that, and it still works even under the most trying situations.

The myelogram was followed by a CT scan. Easy. Closed my eyes and it was soon over.

Tomorrow: An EMG. Needles! Electrodes!

And the results of all these tests tomorrow afternoon. Surgery’s been scheduled for next week.