Things I’ve Learned

Things I’ve learned:

1. Everyone struggles. Regardless of skill level, the missed notes and
beats can come from anyone.

2. Play loudly. It’s easier to pull a clean tone when playing with volume.

3. Keep playing. The world doesn’t stop for mistakes.

4. Bad days happen. Let it go.

5. Listen to what’s going on, instead of just reading the notes and
counting. Sometimes magic happens, and notes become music. This is
still new for me : )

Two years in

I’ve been taking violin lessons for about two years now. Why the violin? Because it’s difficult. I knew it wasn’t something I could master quickly and then move on to the next project. That part has worked out perfectly.

But being aggressively mediocre is a new experience. I have no affinity for the instrument. No inborn talent — otherwise I would have learned to play years ago. I’m not driven to create music as artists often are. But I enjoy the struggle, and though learning is often frustrating (often very frustrating), I can’t imagine not doing this anymore. Creating music seems a reachable goal, though the student’s paradox always looms before me: the more I learn, the more I realize how much more there is to learn. I’m still at first position, 90% success in hitting the right notes, and able to read music a little more quickly before getting lost. But every time I hit a new height, I can see that there are even more difficulties ahead of me. This has been very humbling.

My progress has been very slow from a combination of factors — lack of affinity, the unpredictabilities of work, but mostly because it’s difficult to find a consistent time for practice. Though I’m chronologically at the two year mark, measured in practice I’m still a first-year student. But progress is still noticeable, and I always sound better than I think I will.

So I’m still at it after two years. When people see my instrument case and ask what I play I usually answer that I’m learning violin, or that I’m trying to play, or I’ll make a face and say I’m not really able to play very well. “Notes in order, but not music yet.” But yesterday a jewelry shop owner looked at my hands and asked if I were a pianist. I said “No, I play the violin.” No disclaimers, no hesitation.

It felt odd to say that, but felt true, too. I play the violin.